An Open Letter of a Woman

 

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As cliché as it may sound, I never thought everyone would mean this much to me. Who would have known? They were once strangers and instantly, right then and there, I knew they were important. I was so happy. We have touched each other’s lives. We were okay. We were doing great. Everything was so perfect until one day; they started to drift away from me. I felt something was different. All of a sudden, right in the middle of our normal conversation, they’ve changed. It was the only thing I was afraid of. But it happened anyways.

How did I end up here?

I know I’ve messed up a lot. I screwed up too many times. Perhaps I asked them for too much. I admit, I got too insensitive.

I was too selfish to the point that maybe…

Just maybe…

They gave up understanding me because I was so complicated and not what expected me to be. I failed their expectations. But I don’t think that is the main reason for this. Still I don’t understand what went wrong.

What happened?

Was I easy to give up?

Why?

Did they wake up realizing I’m not worth it?

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I needed answers…

At the back of my head, a part of me keeps on telling me that even though I need those answers, still I’ve got my pride and I promised myself I’d never ask them why…

Because I know them somehow and I’m pretty sure they don’t have reasons that are valid enough to fill the void that was left in me. That I wanted to know the answers but I don’t think I can stand hearing the truth.

I wanted them to regret giving up on me. I wanted them to realize that they’ve wasted me.

But after all the chaos and drama…

I’m still here.

I’m holding on to whatever that’s left…

There’s still so much that I wanted to say to them..

Too many things I wanted to do with them..

And so many emotions I wanted to feel for them.

Honestly, a piece of me still wishes…

Still hopes…

Just a little…

That maybe one day everything will be just like before.

Maybe not now…

Maybe someday…

Just maybe…

 

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But if our chapter really ends here, I just wanted them to know that I was more than thankful for that little forever we had. I cared for them. I mean, I still do…

And I guess I will always do.

 

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