I used to only have one dream, to be a businesswoman. Well, it is because of my friends who are taking the same course but I do like it because I think that no other course suits me well. I didn’t do well in the arts, media, logical reasoning, and many more. I always thought of myself as trash because I am not that pretty and smart, just like TV, movie, and book characters would be. I always cry and let myself sink deep down the ocean of depression because I believe I didn’t amount to anything.
No one cheers me up because I can’t tell anyone what I feel. I just smile so that nobody else can witness how unhappy I am.
Because of depression, I decided not to get involved in love. I only want to have time for myself and knowing myself more than anyone could. So I faced many challenges and exposed myself in so many new things because I was starting to learn how to move on and stand up.
I started writing and I really loved how it inspires me. It really changed my perspective in life. Because of that, I started dreaming more for myself like being a doctor, actress, model, dancer, singer, songwriter and producer, artist, theater performer, traveler, novel writer, photographer, and many more. I saw how endless the possibilities are if you only dreamed, but making those a reality is a big challenge for me and seemingly impossible. I felt down seeing so many experts and achievers even at a young age. It hurts that I only see myself as someone with no remarkable achievements so far. At our school, I only joined hip – hop competition because I think that competition is what suits me. I want to join poster making, journalism, and beauty pageants but I didn’t have the courage to join because I think I am not yet fully-equipped.
If only I could turn back the time and learn about a lot of things at a young age, then I could have joined those competitions. I blamed myself for not having big dreams when I was younger because all I cared about is having comforts in life. Going to school for me then was just for getting good grades.
But having regrets won’t do me any good. I decided to start empowering myself through hobbies to lessen any pressure and have some me-time. I also tried playing table tennis in our school. I know that after the hardships, the whole experience will be worth it.
I want to learn many things to be the total achiever I’ve ever dreamed of. So girls, always have goals in life and don’t forget to ask guidance from God. Always have courage and cheer up.